Oh yes. The election. Not generally a topic that I would normally blog about. But today, I simply had to share with you this story.
A funny thing happened on the way to putting up my political candidate's sign in my yard.
We have a very elderly woman that lives across the street from us. She is 97, lives completely alone, and is almost entirely self reliant. She grows most of all her own food. But she has a few little issues.....she is very hearing impaired, her eyesight is about equivalent to that of the moles that dig in her garden, and she has a drinking problem. I chuckle as I write this because on numerous occasions, she sits outside with her coffee mug full of what she calls her "cough medicine."----a 50/50 concoction of Black Label Jim Beam and honey. We adore her.
Today, was such an occasion. I had just returned home from my political party of choice's office with a few signs to put up in my yard. Hetty was out on her porch, kicking her legs in her rocking chair, snapping green beans, and her famous cough medicine right there next to her. I tooted my horn in greeting and parked my car.
I had no sooner gotten out of the car and had started sticking my signs in the ground, when my drunken neighbor started charging across the street, as fast as her 97 year old legs would carry her, coffee cup in one hand, cane in the other.
"Jenny! What are you doing?" She crowed.
"Well, I am hanging up some signs Miss. H." I answered.
"What's that you say?!?!?!!? Hanging up signs? But you already have your house for sale."
Well it's true, I do. And I have had the same for sale sign stuck in my lawn for 6 months now.
"Well, Mrs. H," I answered her (and I am almost yelling so that she can hear me), "Yes, I do have a for sale sign. But this is a sign for the Election."
And just as soon as the word 'election' came out of my mouth, I knew where I had gone wrong....and this was about to get really wrong really fast.
"WHATS THAT YOU SAY!?!?!? WHO'S HAVING AN ER*ECT*ION ?!?!?!?!" (and I type it this way so that creeping internet types doing a naughty word search don't land on my blog) If she had not been standing right there, I probably would have peed my pants laughing so hard at her. Then she promptly turned on her heels and trotted back to her house as fast as her 97 year old legs could carry her without waiting for me to respond.
I don't think I will ever be able to think about the election with a straight face again.