Saturday, February 2, 2008
I've been pondering for the last few days about attitudes. Good ones, bad ones. My own "stinkin thinkin," as I like to call it.
I have a pastor that seems always have a great attitude about everything. I'm not kidding! Recently, his 16 year old son was diagnosed with leukemia. We've all been watching from a distance how their family would react to such a crisis. We have been rallying around them with love and support...with the thought that somehow our normally cheerful and optimistic pastor would fall into the trap of the pity party and bad attitude. But he didn't. He didn't curse God, he didn't abandon his family, nor did he leave his church in the dark about anything.
I have watched in awe as their family melded together and became even stronger. The cancer barely seemed to rock their boat at all on the outside...they simply took the situation for what it was, and ran with it! How do they do that? And make it look so effortless? I heard that when their son is sleeping in the hospital, the pastor goes out and ministers to other patients, instead of wallowing in self pity and a "whoa is me" attitude. And all along, people have been asking him "Why you?" and he responds to them "Why not, me?" as if suffering through this trying time is the most natural thing in the world. And I want that attitude. The one that says how can I continue to be a light, a shining example to others when the going gets tough? Well, thank you God for putting people in my life that can be that example for me.
In my own world, I have a huge mess going on. Besides being pregnant and due in the next 6 weeks, I have to sell our house and prepare for our move. I have a daughter with some developmental delays that she is finally getting help for...only to be stalled in the process of having to locate new therapists and have to start from scratch with the insurance company. I have classes to teach, children to raise, a homeschool to operate. Once again, we are going to be uprooted from all that we hold dear-our friends, our home, our church family. And I have totally taken the wrong attitude in the whole thing. I dove head on into my own self-made "pity party" instead of taking the high road that the Lord is trying to call me to. What's worse, I have invited all those around me to join me in my pity party. YUCK! Talk about "stinkin' thinkin!!!"
God has called me to be His own...to lean on Him when the trying times get tough. I don't know why I seem to keep forgetting that. I have been asking the "Why me, God?" question too often, and totally discounting God in His awesomeness who wants me to lean on Him to rise above the situation and ask "Well, why not me?" He has called me into these particular circumstances for a reason, and wants to see me succeed. Truly, He does.
God saw this particular bumpy spot on my journey of life a long time ago. And as much as I hate to say it, He has been preparing me for this moment for a long long time. Just as he was preparing my pastor's family for their rocky part of the journey. So for now, I am going to take off my pity party hat. It was too big anyways...and totally worthless. I'm taking up my optimistic party horn, giving it a toot and yelling Philippians 4:13 at the top of my lungs out my open windows. I suppose, I shall believe it for myself when I start living it, eh?